Recently, I came across a document I wrote at the end of 2019 where I reflected on the end of another decade. I remembered who I was when 2000 was approaching and who I evolved into throughout the years and experiences that shaped who I would become. Finally, I spoke into who and what I wanted for 2020. I do think that those thoughts were seeds planted and throughout 2020 begun to take roots. The roots are the foundation that will keep me going even when the tree is cut down to the bare. As I read the words that I pinned in 2019, not knowing what would happen in 2020, I am utterly in awe. I would say that everything I hoped for would happen, but also the realness and brokenness in who I was hit me as I read each word. That letter didn’t get published but this one will.
Who am I from 2020 and what did I learn? Who am I as a result of everything that I experienced? The answers to these questions and so many more aren’t easy and clearly this is a quick snapshot and not as detailed as there isn’t enough time to fully explore. I posted a mid-2020 post last year to provide things that I was learning and now I will tackle the three biggest lessons for me in 2020 and they all involved prioritizing my health! Yes, my health in every way; spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally and financially (yay! I’m DEBT FREE)
My first lesson was that I love structure. When I was furloughed I completely let go and trust God’s plan. I really prayed for God’s best when I lost my job. I didn’t want just any job, I knew I wanted a career and to see where would God take me if I fully and completely surrendered to the process. So as that was my prayer, then what did I do to fill in my time? I worked and still structured my day. What I know for sure and have experienced is that God can do anything and I believe in miracles; however, I also believe that when we pray and ask for something we have to do our part. So, I didn’t just sit at home and wait for a job, I dedicated time each day to look for a job. When I noticed that the process was beginning to consume me and give me anxiety, I then put boundaries and parameters around my job searching. As a result, I dedicated three days per week to look for work. Throughout this process, there were moments where it all seemed a lot and unfair but I was reminded of my prayer to God and really wanting His best for me.
Second lesson for me last year was about forming boundaries and saying “no”. No is a complete sentence. I took time to heal from my past and pains that I’ve experienced. In April, I went back to therapy, yes back to therapy! This time it was a new therapist and it has been the BEST experience thus far! She is my 4th therapist and the best one so far. I want to say to all of you who have considered therapy and gave it one shot to please try again, most people compare therapy to dating and its true, you have to search around and find the best one for you. As I was healing in therapy, I joined a mentorship group that also played an instrumental part of my healing. For six months we read a different book each month and really healed from our past and accepted ourselves as we are. I learned that I AM ENOUGH as I am. In therapy, I learned to speak up and start using the word “no” and take time for myself and have selfcare days. I learned what boundaries are and really decide what is important to me.
Third lesson for me was prioritizing my physical health. For years, I have been a student of fitness and nutrition, as well as a student and consumer of fad diets. The weight would come off and then it would come right back! NO MORE, I was sick and tired of the yo-yo game with my weight and new that this would be a lifestyle change for me. As we have come to know slow and steady wins the race. Rather than setting a very ambitious goal of losing all the weight I want in one year, I decided to cut the total weight loss goal in half. I wanted to work towards not only losing weight, but increasing muscle and strength while having a healthy relationship with food. The pandemic helped me accomplish this goal because I was home and therefore I was able to cook majority of my food. I would love to say I didn’t have any setbacks but of course that’s not true, but I learned to accept the fact that what I eat will affect my weight for the day and to focus more on how I feel and I feel AMAZING right now! I am so comfortable in my skin and with my body. I’m not where I want to be, but thank God, I’m not where I used to be. I was so happy to step on the scale at my doctor’s appointment and know that I am really making positive steps to improve my overall health.
Here’s my challenge for you, reflect over your past year, what moments can you celebrate? What moments do you really need to be honest with yourself and give yourself grace because it was tough and you made it through? Remember, life is meant to be lived and it’s a marathon and not a sprint.
I’m always cheering you on and rooting for you!
With Love,
