Can you imagine growing up in a household full of women and being the youngest?
No well let me break it down. You have built in best friends for life, you have a playmate and a partner in crime. My sisters and I would play pretend so many times and use the soap opera’s as our narrative. We all liked to watch the same shows, so we never fought over the tv. When we would go to Great America we could sit in pairs on the rollercoaster and no one was left out. We could also split up because two of my sisters loved the rollercoasters and two of us did not. As we began to get older, I’m pretty sure we worked my moms’ nerves. We all got a menstrual cycle back to back, we all could fit each other’s clothing and we would all forget a time or two to put on deodorant and would have to ask Mama to smell our clothes to make sure they didn’t stink. Oh, my Mama and she was always there to happily do it. We made songs together, danced together, went to school together. As time went further on, we then began to have our differences of views and opinions so then Mama became the referee and the coach on how to get along. I have some amazing memories of all my sisters and I’ll share one about each with you:
Jelahn (the oldest) – In Chicago, snow and snowstorms are a norm. When we were growing up there was no immediately canceling school because of snow. We still had to walk to school and they would count the kids only to then decide that we would have a half day and they would send us home. It was the blizzard of ’94 maybe ’95 oh I know ’96…actually I don’t know because every year there was a blizzard. However, Jelahn and I were walking to school and I kept telling her I couldn’t see because the
snow was coming in my face. I will remember for the rest of my life Jelahn’s response; she held my hand and said “Ok, you walk backwards, and I will guide us to school”! I didn’t understand why she told me to walk backwards but I did as she said and then I realized that me walking backwards meant that the snow wouldn’t hit my face as we were walking in the direction of the storm and now instead of hitting my face, the snow would hit my back. Such a selfless moment from my big sister. Over the years there are two things I’m sure of:
1. When it snows or there’s a storm and it is hitting my face, I turn around and walk backwards, well now I will even walk to the side if it helps me to not get abused.
2. When it snows,
Jelahn will always tie her scarf around her entire face and only have her eyes showing, hmmm…. maybe that’s the reason she was able to guide me to school!
Tasia (the 2 nd oldest) – I was fifteen and Tasia was eighteen, before cell phones and plans are the way they are now, you had to sign up for a two-year contract agreement and you got a free phone. I remember showing Tasia this phone I wanted in a store or magazine. It was a flip phone and it lit up on the side. I was like if I could get a phone it would be that one. One day, I made it back home and I went in my mom’s room to say hi and Tasia was on the bed, playing with the exact phone that I said I wanted.
I was so excited, I said “You got me the phone!” she replied, “No, this is my phone”. I was crushed, hurt, sad, bamboozled and hoodwinked! Seriously Tasia! You knew I wanted that phone and you only got it for you. Mama do you see what she did, Mama that’s not fair, Tasia knew I wanted that phone. I kept harping on how that’s the phone I wanted. Then Tasia said “Shut up, punk” Btw…Tasia is the tough sister. “This is my phone, but THIS phone (it was hidden) is for you” Ahhhh…. I couldn’t believe it, I got a cell phone and it was one that I really wanted. I was so happy and Tasia and Mama laughed at me and I had my first cell phone. Man, I really liked that phone. I remember that I didn’t expect her to buy it and that’s why it was more surprising. Such a thoughtful moment because I also didn’t have a job and that meant that Tasia would have to pay the bill. Thanks, Tasia!
Lavoann (the 3 rd oldest) – Lavoann and I shared a room when we lived on Manistee and for all our life together. I remember laying in the bed on my side of the room and saying “Lavoann, are you sleep?” I will never fully understand why we ask that question because if the person is awake then you should be talking anyway and not laying in silence. Sometimes her answer to me would be yes and sometimes it would be no. If it was yes, I would reply “How are you sleep if you responded to me?” It was during
these dark nights where we could see the night sky from our ceiling window that our voices would fill the quietness of the room with dreams for our future. What do you want to be when you grow up?
What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? Hey did you know??? These were the moments where we expressed our truth and talked about our fears. This is where secrets were spilled, in the dark, with no one watching or looking at the other person. Unable to perceive and see the judgment on the other persons face or the crazy expression when something was said that was so far out of this world that it really was just a dream. It was in these moments, where we were two sisters planning out the moves we would make and the life that we would have. As kids, what once was for pretend, turned into can you imagine, turned into the reality that we have now <3
